Letter #29

October 18, 2010

Friend’s family,

I got transferred to Collage Station!!! Packing my place is crazy!!! ..... I just sit on the floor with a bunch of stuff and cry....and then I get up and try again. The new address is:
Oh I'll give it to you in a bit!
Wow an eventful week this has been for both me and my family. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own interpretations. Mom I love you so much, I wish I could be home for a day and just let you and dad and the kids know just how much I love you and miss you and how hard it is to trust in the Lord sometimes. But I have to understand that he knows just how I feel, and I can pray for answers and he will listen and then lead me....I don't HAVE to listen, but I do want to, because he is the one that knows how to give true happiness! And I trust in my savior because I know he lives.

This week was full of changes and following the leadership and council of our priesthood leaders and understanding that Heavenly Father knows and trusts his children to follow him when he leads them gently by the hand. My heart has truly been broken with the news on Saturday that informed me that I will be transferred and be leaving my area here in Tomball and I will be going to Collage Station. It's when you know what you want and you know what the Lord wants and when you feel your heart hurt because you are giving up what you want (even when both are good) for what the Lord wants.

It makes me think. When we want something do we listen and are we prepared to listen to the promptings of the still small voice even when it's something we DON'T want to do? But remember this: what is the plan that Heavenly Father Has for us? "The Plan of Happiness"....yes that's it....so why don’t' I trust him to know what is going to make me happy in the end? the Lord knows that the Gospel of Jesus Christ will make all of his children happy in the end....and yet we disregard it as not because we are happy now, with what we have and were we are...I want to stay in this pig poop because it's warm and feels good, it kind of smells bad but other than that I'm happy, what do you have that can make my pig poop better? ..... we don’t' know at first that after sitting in the pig poop for a long time it will eventually put toxins in our body and kill us by degrees, no we are fine where we are at. But if we would have just had a little faith to pray and clean up and walk out and up on the hill we would be able to see the beautiful hot springs that sparkled the area. Why is it that sometimes we just don't want to.....

.....just don't want to follow the prophet.....
.....just don't want to listen to my parents who strive to be good examples.....
.....just don't want to grow up and live up to who I am....
.....don't want the gift that my brother paid with such a terrible price!


I want you to know that "Just don't want to"....is going to happen all the time....I really don't think anyone just can't wait to get home to fold the 50 loads of laundry piled on their bed ...no....but we do it, because when were done we're happier. I know that this is a true principle and I love how Nephi says: I will go and do the things which the lord has commanded, for I know...." he didn't say "Oh boy, I can't wait to go get the plates and have people come try and kill me and my brothers hit me over the head with a big stick!!! Ya baby, I can't wait"....no, that's not what he said. He followed because he loved his father in heaven and trusted him. How are we on this? I have a looooong ways to go, but I am "going and doing" and that's what matters.

This week Sister Petersen and I have worked hard to find and teach and follow up with appointments. We have a new baptized member Juan that came to church this Sunday and we went and taught him and eddy his friend, he is awesome. I think he really is interested, he's not happy with his religion (Baptist) and any really, he's had a really hard life. But we talked and I ended teaching the restoration and a little about the temple and the fruits of the church!! WOW!!! So awesome, he said he's read the Bible and I asked if he'd read a Book of Mormon if I gave him one, he said yes. We gave him one and Juan tolled us Sunday that they continued to talk for 2 hours after we left!!! WOWOWOWOWO!!!! So amazing that is for sure!

Elder Costa said to follow the spirit and when he says "Testify and leave the family" follow....don't finish your chocolate cake, just follow the prompting and come back latter. Let the spirit have time to work within the people's hearts. Sometimes we all need time to let the spirit work on us, as missionaries you see it all the time you find yourself as a child of God. You have to, because you don't belong anywhere for 1 1/2 years to 2 years. literally you have to feel how others feel when you don't belong.....because those who don't know that they are a child of God and he has a plan for them and they lived with him before we came here and that's why we want to return to him, feel that longing and desire to just belong.....we have that truth....you do and I do....open our mouths and let them know. What an incredible experience.

The missing mom was found and now they want to be taught too!!! SO COOL! and a member we've been trying to get a hold of to meat with her friend to teach found us on Sunday and so that we can go teach her friend too...well not me but sister :Petersen! She will do great and her new companion Sister Taylor will be wonderful and will truly be good together.

My new companion is sister Craimer and she seams......umm......sweet.....quite a ruff sense of humor, I think she'll be great....pray! But the Lord knows me and knows his children and so things will work amazing, because he is the master teacher, not me! but I will be in an all BIKE area (YES.....I"M going to totally die!!! but hopefully I'll lose these 20 pounds I've gained!) and I'm in the only apt with 4 sisters!!! HA HA!!! WOOT WOOT that is going to be so fun and crazy I think!!! And I hope they don't get sick of me too soon! NAH! it will be wonderful because I'm supposed to be there!!! umm....Christmas is coming up and it will be my 1st one without my family!!!! Its interesting mom and dad, I didn't think I'd have to leave family while I came out on my mission, but leaving Tomball there are some incredible people that my heart breaks for because I feel like I'm leaving family!!! But ya know absence makes the heart grow fonder....ha ha! It will be ok!!! I have high hopes and a broken heart.....but I can feel the spirit!

I love you and pray for you each day!

Love you from here to Heaven
-Sister Judkins

Letter #28

October 11, 2010

Family and Friends,

This week was AMAZING!!! I love how crazy things follow me and how Heavenly Father knows his children so incredibly well!!

Ok start of with GUES WHO CAME TO TALK WITH US one of the 7 presidents of the 70's : Elder Costas (He spoke in General Conference) came to our mission and we had a 3 mission conference and he spoke of how we can open our mouth ALLWAYS and teach people and NOT lessons!!!! IT WAS BOMB!!!! He says: "It's easy, no problem....peace of cake to share the gospel in America...." I'm like....ha ha, man this guy is good what does he say....then he continued and said " I just start talking to someone about the gospel and introduce myself as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints and ask do you know about us?....YES they say....."Oh, are you a member?"...no....they say.....'Why not?" ha ha ha!!!! The 400 missionaries there busted up laughing, but my mouth was dropped the whole time....AMAZING this man just asks, why aren't you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? INCREDIBLE....I can do that!!!! Oh wow it was so incredible I loved every second of his talk to us. My heart leaped for joy "I can say that?" I thought to myself...I thought I was pretty bold before, but oh no, I was like a little pansy...so now I can really speak boldly and ya know what we tried it!!! when we started tracking I started to ask "oh are you a member..." and instantly they are a little shocked but we have a common ground if not for a few seconds....ha ha wow! They don’t feel as intimidated and they sense that I am not there to force anything on them. Oh I hope that made some sense to you but if not, just know that Sister Judkins has it making sense in her brain!! Ha!

WOW~ I have been blessed beyond measure: an incredible experience this week: Thursday we usually go to a group of ladies and knit and visit with them (they are from all kinds of different religions I love these feisty ladies!!!) and my companion was really excited to go because we'd missed it a few weeks in a row, but all of a sudden I felt a sick feeling and after comp study I told her we are supposed to go tracking, we prayed about a street. MARY JANE LN.....and then got lost getting there and almost just forgot it, when we found it, we parked and said a prayer, the 2nd house we came to a lady was talking on her phone outside and looked at us like we were crazies!! She said "who are you and what do you want"....I’m thinking oh boy, she thinks were J-dubs....I said "we're missionaries" "Oh, she says and hangs up the phone an talks to us....we spent almost 1 1/2 hours there with this women and her sister and they continued to explain why when I asked "how are you' she said "not good" .....She told us her mother who suffered from By-Polar syndrome (a very serious type) went missing on Monday at 11:30PM and it was Thursday! She kept saying wow, maybe you’re supposed to be here, maybe your going to find her and continued to tell us how 2 of her best friends are Mormon and she went to Young Women’s when she was younger and we gave her a BOM and said a prayer with her, after the prayer she started to cry I gave her a hug and told her "it will be ok". They lived in a trailer and her sister has 3 kids from 3 different guys not married and she's 5 months pregnant. Oh my goodness the love the savior has for these two girls is incredible I could feel it. They were worried and trying to be tough and here we are (truly not able to do much of anything) but if nothing else we were there to be the saviors hands to comfort his daughters that were in need. And wow! What a miracle we left our hearts full of Charity and our legs eaten over twice by mosquitoes, but I didn’t' even care, we had followed the spirit and wow!

Elder Costa spoke of following the spirit and not memorizing the lessons, but teaching to the needs of the people.

Last night we had a hard experience: after receiving a referral and setting an appointment for a man named Steve we had a lesson with him and his "complete Jewish" wife. His mom referred him and the wife said the mom is not a true believer, but rather just uses the church because she is in a bad situation. When the wife talked her eyes would look like shark's eyes and her tone sounded deep and load and she started almost yelling at some points. They met us with smiles and set us at the table with homemade cookies... (Oh we had felt like we should fast and I had started to get a very sick feeling in my stomach about 2 hours before we went to the meeting.) What started as a "golden lesson" or so it seemed, turned into them telling us after we shared Joseph Smith's experience that he felt sorry for us....that we were being tricked by a false prophet and that when my companion was crying it reminded them of their son who was led by a false prophet and who almost tore their family up inside and killed his wife 3 times in one week. (How much of that is exaggerated I can only imagine) they continued to put my companion's testimony and the word "Pagan" together.... WOW! We had a member come with us and she was shocked she was actually baptized and sealed just last year in the temple. Her eyes were as big as marbles. My feeling of a pit in my stomach had been confirmed. when we left my companion said the words I just recently said to her with tears in my eyes "WHY?" Why did we have to go there and teach and just let them rip us to shreds and take something so special and trample it under their feet?" And I repeated her same words she said to me, "Because when they stand before the bar of judgment they WILL KNOW...."
The last words I finished with were these to the Rossi's, I asked the wife "have you every really wanted to know and prayed about weather or not Joseph Smith was a prophet?'" Because if you don’t' WANT to know YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!!" and I looked into her soul when I said that and saw anger. No she has never wanted to know, she says "I know it couldn't be, it's wrong I know he's not a prophet......the saddest part of this is that she will NEVER KNOW....because she will never ask. Just like Laman and Lemuel when they said to Nephi, the Lord will not make these things known unto us....and Nephi says, ye have not asked....If we do not ask the lord will not give. Because that in a way takes away our free agency and that is Satan’s plan.
Our hearts broken and our hope dashed for them and their progression in the gospel fallen, we left and through many tears of sorrow reminded ourselves of who we are and how the Savior of mankind was Humiliated and bruised.....but then Sunday came....when we struggle and are embarrassed for doing what the Lord would have us do, we cannot be discouraged, but rejoice because you shared what the Lord wants us to, and he will take care of the rest.
Needless to say we were comforted by our beloved savior and our hearts are healed. We did leave a book of Mormon and sent him to LDS.org to read Joseph Smith's History.

This week has been incredible and when things start to look good sometimes they fall, but I've always taught what you do when you fall in a race....YOU GET BACK UP AND RUN AFTER THE PERSON THAT TRIPPED YOU....and BEAT HIM! That person is Satan. And we all have power to beat him. We are children of GOD....whether we believe it or not.... we are...and we are ordained with the TRUTH and the Truth will make us free and all those who repent and keep his commandments.

I love you all so much. This week I was struggling. And I can't tell you how incredible it was to see a package and letter from my HOME WARD in Lake Oswego wow! I was letting myself feel a pity me phase of oh no body misses me everybody hates me......ha ha.....and then I get a HUGE PACKAGE and 30-+ love notes from my Primary home family!! and even though I felt like I didn't do a good job when teaching in primary (my little un-experienced self) I felt an energy that came with all the squiggles and letters and hearts and names that spoke deeper then just me saying" Sister Judkins you are a daughter of God, and we are children of god and we support you no matter what!" WOW! Thank you Lake Oswego Primary thank you! I truly love each and every one of you and look forward to the day when I get to see you grow and learn and teach others and serve your own missions! YES YOU CAN! And thank you for letting me know that I CAN TOO! I love you!
and the letter from the Bishopric...thank you, the support that I received this last week lifted my down spirits to heights that tell me my savior knows me and loves me and used his children to reach out his hands to those in need. And my needs were met this week! THANK YOU LAKE OSWEGO WARD! I truly love you so much!
Thank you also to my dear family that never cease to stop caring for me and mom for all the $ you send in giving me packages and bread and everything I need, I feel so incredibly spoiled. And thank you Katie, and dad and the family. Thank you for your prayers I can feel them. thank you to my friends in the WESTLAKE SINGLES ward, I loved the letters I received and I swear there must have been a talk that stated "support your missionaries" or something and they all came the exact days that I needed them!!! Thank you so much for supporting and loving me through all my imperfections! I love each of you and miss you!

Ok I love you! Pray for times to share the gospel teach people not lessons!!!! It’s a peace of CAKE!!!

LOL
Love you all from here to Heaven,
-Sister Judkins

Letter #27

October 4, 2010


Howdy ya'll,

All right! This week has been a week of ups and downs but ending with a HUGE bunch of MIRACLES. Did you all love General Conference! I hope you did! I loved President Monson's talk on Attitude of gratitude, why is that so hard for so many of us! :)

I want to tell each of you THANK YOU!

Thank you mom and dad for all the sacrifice you have gone through to raise us kids and even our friends at times and to teach us TRUE and FAITHFUL principals of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for loving through the tears and spending long sleepless nights solving problems and making us sit on your couch while all our eyes are blood shot because you wouldn't let any of us go to bed angry and with out a hug and kiss and a "I love you". Thank you for your strength and courage to move away from family and to our beloved Oregon and growing out of nothing with God a business that has been inspired. Thank you for waking up early every morning because you knew how important family scripture study is. Thank you for the tears over the phone and the shoulders to cry on and the time set apart to talk and council your children and friends and family. Thank you for serving as ward missionaries and full time. Thank you for staying worthy to go to each of our temple weddings and setting a constant example for me to someday live up to, but to always look up to. Thank you for teaching me what an eternal Marriage looks like and how it is possible ONLY with God. Thank you for your love even when I didn't deserve it. The hugs that would lift me up when I brought myself so low and felt like such a failure, thank you for teaching us that we can DO and BE anything. For NEVER doubting my dreams and ambitions, for smiling and whispering "I love you" as you watched my never ending choir and play and musical performances. Thank you for the hours and thousands of gray hairs ;) you ripped out while I was learning to play the piano, and always encouraging me to heights I couldn't have made my own. Thank you for being my parents, oh how grateful I am for you mom and dad! My cup runneth over with blessings I have in my life and how grateful I am to be so pleased and truly happy to know my parents are one of the great and noble ones and they put their trust in God. What an incredible example you are to me! Thank you, thank you......thank you!

To my sisters: I would not change you for anything! My sisters my friends that have been such powerful examples in my life. How grateful I am for you, your support and love and examples and encouragement. My sisters you have always been there for me when I need you. I love you Tasha, Jill, Jules babe, and Meagan and Erica I love you. I love you for loving my brothers and for coming into our family and staying strong. My sisters I know I am not easy to love....I know that....and yet you do! I'm so eternally grateful for that! I love you with all my heart and I pray and am grateful for you each individually so much!

To my Bros: What can I say. We have gone through a lot together haven't we? Deep talks, silly talks, stupid dances with the black light down stairs ha ha! I love my brothers: Josh, Jac, John, Joe, and Jed....David: thank you for taking care and loving my sister. My brothers how I look up to you. How I long for your happiness. I have worked with you, worked side by side with you and how I leaned on you and cried to you. thank you for having open arms for beating up all those that have the guile to look at me the wrong way :) how I admire each of you my elder and younger. How lucky am I...thank you for staying worthy to hold the priesthood and thank you for staying worthy to come to the temple when I get married. My husband has a lot to go through to get to me doesn’t he....poor guy.... I love you, Thank you.

This letter is a little different I felt it needed to be. I want you to know of my love and concern and my admiration for each of my dear brothers and sisters and mom and dad and MY FAMILY! Isn’t that what life is all about. I hope we never lose that sight that life is centered all around families. "Families can be together forever" why is it our eyes get wet each time we sing that song, dad you’re always the one to start it too! WHY!? Because WE ARE FAMILY! .... WE ARE THE JUDKINS! And more importantly than that, we are eternally bound and sealed together forever! ONLY IF WE KEEP ALL THE COMMANDMENTS AND KEEP ALL OUR COVANANTS than can we return together and are with our heavenly father and family!

I love you, the work is going good, I know my savior lives and he loves me and you, and the Book of Mormon is true. This Gospel is truth! And the way we show our love to God is through our willingness to share it, why? Because it is who we are!

I love you again, I love Tomball and I've truly grown. I long to serve, love, teach, invite and encircle our Heavenly father's children in the arms of his love, and I have arms that can do that. The only thing that stops us is us!

Quote of the week: ...."from failure we learn a lot....from success...eh, not so much" -Meat the Robinson.s

I love you from here to Heaven,

Sister Judkins

Letter #26

September 27, 2010

Dad thanks for that song, I loved it so much! Mom I loved your DADADADADAAAAA!!!! In the back round!! HILARIOUS!!! I started bawling and everyone looked at me funny! I love getting videos from you that is so amazing!!! Maybe I will try and make my song and send it to you! Today I have to go to the member’s home for a really long time and take my test for my ticket!!! HUGH!!!! Shoot me in my foot, wait. No don’t' do that I can't tract! ha ha!! Just kidding, it's ok though this family is like being at home. :) They are incredible. Not where else I’d rather do a 6 HOUR Safety course!!! Hugh 6 hours......ugh......ugh.....

Ok. Family this week has been wild and crazy and wild and crazy again!!!! Ok where to start where to start!!!

1. Brenda tried to commit suicide and kept going to members that live by here and asking her to call us and tell us she tried to commit suicide, we went and visited and she was all smiles from ear to ear, and well not any more interested in the gospel then after she tolled us she didn't want to quit smoking or get baptized, well it's hard, but everyone gets their choice and we just get to invite. If we forced that would be Satan’s plan. No matter how much we love someone and want them to chose the right, we can't make their choices or force them to do it right. I wonder how hard it must be for the Lord to watch and now only "a few will find" eternal life with him and their families. so sad to me when I think of how many people just don't want to listen or change "I’m too old" or "I like where I am now" dad your song is so TRUE!!!

2. Another call was of a woman that strangled her daughter (fewer actives) and that was scary. No one died, but this all happened in 1 day!!! Crazy day. Oh and

3. Our other investigator Randy overdosed again and was sent away to work for a while.

It has been VERY crazy and hard dealing with all the issues that are going around. But the Lord is here and he will take care of us.

We found another cock roach and man, those things just NEEVER DIE!! We found one dried up and turned over by the TOILET!!! HAHAHA!! GROSS....I picked it up with card board and we started taking pictures, then all of a sudden it started t twitch!!! UGH NaaaaAAAASTY!!! So gross! I quickly put a jar over it and started running around like a chicken and through it out side!!! We left it one a friend’s front door in a box, ha ha! Merry Christmas!!! That was funny.

We had an incredible Sisters Conference a few days ago, which we arrived late to, not my fault we got lost. But I learned where north when the sun comes up is!!! Ha ha! it was so much needed, and interesting to hear the talks and how great it was to hear about not judging others (which was also mentioned by President Monson in RS broadcast, which was incredible) and how judging goes 2 ways. oh I'm better then so and so and I know more or my hair has a better "Utah bump" than that girl, or oh look at her Utah bump hair due etc....every day we judge so quickly, and yet we know that's wrong but have you ever thought about putting yourself below someone else is judging also? I'm not as pretty, or I'm so much fatter, or uglier, or not as smart, or wow those missionaries are so much better at teaching than me...etc. it's so easy to tare yourself down and not realize that that is a master way Satan works at us, through his greatest tool: distraction....it was a blessing to realize this because as missionaries we need to build others up but shouldn't’t that also mean to build us up too, through service and charity which is the pure love of Christ!?

This past week my goal was the work on Charity and it's incredible how many talks and situations I've been in to express my charity and to show and also to feel that by having charity I am much happier and not afraid to help and serve or smile and hug. The Pure love of Christ is something so important that with out it....we are nothing....wow! I want to be something! I was to have charity.

I have realized that sometimes you can "love to much" a member I love dearly tolled me once, an interesting term to use. There is a difference between love and charity. Love is sometimes blind. charity sees through the fluff and pain and gets to the issue at hand, charity is moving on as a missionary even though you may love the investigator, but understand that if we have charity "the pure love of Christ" then we must let them have their choice, but we did our job by inviting and loving and trying our very best to support and share the truth of the book of Mormon and the gospel that has been restored. And sometimes even after months and years of teaching, they might just say "no, I don't want it"

It reminds me of that doughnut story. of the seminary teacher that had a boy do 15 push ups so each student could have a do nut, but when the boy started to get tiered after 200 and a pool of sweat was laying on the floor way he flopped after each set was completed, some of the students said "no, I don’t' want it" and the teacher asked the boy red and soaked in a puddle of sweat to do 15 push ups so that Suzie could have a donut that she doesn’t want! the class's eyes were full of tears and the teacher even at this point was tearing up to see the pain of john, the boy doing the push ups. he slowly push himself up and what started to be 1 second between push ups turned into 5 grueling minutes between each one, as his entire body couldn't control the shaking 13...14.....15......his arms buckled and he dropped to the ground. The girl yells, "I said I didn't want it" the teacher said, but he sill has to pay for the donut for you because this is a gift for all whether you will accept it or not. the entire class had tears streaming down their faces including john and the teacher....the teacher didn't realize at this point that 5 extra people had come in and sat down, one more was about to come in when the entire class yelled:"NO, DON"T COME IT" but a notice muffled out of john's voice "no, let them in" the teach then with a stunned face and red eyes turned to the boys and asked “do you want a donut boys?" "OH YEAH!" the boys said. He then turned to john and he proceeded with out being asked to do 15 more push ups for each one. -this is CHARITY.

Christ suffered the same for each of us, and yet sometimes we look at the gift and say, no I'm not good enough to get it, or no I don't want it. and we as missionaries and friends of those looking cry and watch our sister, brother, mom, dad, friend, family member or loved investigators or less actives say "no, I don't want it" oh how painful that is to hear and see. Many a times I have left a home hunched and tears welling up in my eyes as I ask. "why?" my companion said something to me which was this: "Because they will know when they meet God at the judgment seat that they were tolled the truth and that God sent 2 young sister missionaries to teach you and you turned them away, and we will would have done our job, we invited, they now have to chance to except or say "NO, I DON'T WANT IT". You see a woman yelled at us when she saw us offer her husband a book of Mormon.... "NO....N....O I will not have that book in my house". "Oh ye fare ones" how painful it is to see, but the joy comes with those who are ready and maybe it takes years, but we are doing our job!

I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is the fullness of the gospel, we have a prophet we knew we lived before we came here and that we will be resurrected and when Christ comes again every knee will bend and every tongue will confess. and the book of Mormon is a testimony that "2 nations is a testimony that I am God" we have a true prophet called of God on the earth today, thousands of missionaries every year serve missions to share the gospel and to show their Father in Heaven just how much we love him and are willing to sacrifice years of our lives just for him. During testimony meeting brother Celanese got up and said "ya know I would die for my savior, but why do I struggle so hard to LIVE for him?" brothers and sisters my heart burns....I KNOW! But knowing once is not enough. Read and pray every day. Strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, his gift for us to repent. If we know, we would DO! Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God, and the book of Mormon is a 2nd testament and there will be more to come, the last days are now, we must step up and hold our lights high, not judge and hide it low, because we don’t' think we are good enough or brave enough. If we think those thoughts as my mom always taught me "Satan wins" and we are sad, but so are those who are looking for the light, and can't find it. I love the lord, in him I will boast not of myself for with out him I am nothing, but with him I am everything and can become like him if I strive (struggle) to EVERY DAY! If I don't strive for it every day, I will loose my light. Read and pray and stay focused on the goal of the celestial kingdom with God. We must know who we are before we can teach or help others come to understand who they are.

I love you with all my heart, sometimes it hurts. Oh how I long for my loved family and friends to be happy and find True happiness, eternal happiness.

I love you forever and always, from here to heaven (home)

-Sister Judkins

Letter #25

September 20, 2010

Family and friends,

This week has been a week of self discovery! Sister Petersen and I have been learning who we are and how we can feel confidence in which we are and not worry about what others think of us.

The talk with Brother THevanen was really eye opening. I needed it badly. And even though there were many tears, my heart felt like it could keep going and that the Lord knew me and Brother Thevenen gave me a perfect assignment: How can I feel better about myself inwardly instead of relying outward on what others say about me. I have been feeling like I lost my fire that I knew so well in me. I felt lost. Now I am finding the fire again, it comes through having faith, building others up, but as equally important to build myself up and not tare myself down, because the only person that's laughing is Satan. I am the captain of my own soul, and I choose who I am and what I am supposed to be! Slowly I am learning this, and little by little beginning to believe it.

Clark canceled on us this week.

No one came to church....except for a less active we've been working with for a long time; in fact we are having great progression with him, and his non-member wife, SHE ACTUALLY CAME TOO! She is Asian and said it was different, I told her that's ok, and it probably was because you have never come before. They left after sacrament meeting, but they came. And we are teaching them on Friday. We asked her to pray to know she is a daughter of God. That is really foreign to her and she raised her eye brow when we told her that, but she said she would, the spirit was so strong, even though her kids were screaming. She is a great mom that works really hard, her husband who is the less active seems like he struggles to balance fatherhood with work. It’s almost like he doesn’t know what to do when his kids cry. I realized that just like a companionship, a marriage if not cultivated and constantly worked at, will wilt and eventually shrivel up and die.

Brenda we have backed off a little, but last night we cut out hearts and wrote a sweet note to express our love, but most importantly her Savior's love and support! We will visit her this week, but shorter visits and no pushing, she will make the choice if she desires to. And the Lord will give us our desires.

Randy has 6 weeks to change his life and then he goes back to court to see if he gets locked up for 15 years. His mother is so grateful for our visits and constantly is trying to help us, she even said she would leave a key for her house for us to come in and do whatever if she's not home. ha ha! So sweet to offer such trust she has. She is less active and Randy is a non member (her son).

We are working on investigator Volley ball with the youth, starting small with the young women, to have then bring their friends that they want to share the gospel with and we would get together and play volley ball together and they would get to know us the missionaries so they will not be scared to ask questions. So cool.

We are looking for new finding ideas. It’s been a busy lazy week, lowest numbers this week on my mission, still met 20 lessons, but we average 28, this week we are going to work hard and find those that are ready!

All is well in Tomball the ward is incredible and sister Petersen and I are happy and ready for a new week.

----that was a letter I sent to my Mission President, I just thought I should share it, it's a little more personal then normal, but for some reason I was supposed to share it.

Well Sister Petersen and I have been enjoying our time together, thank you mom for your words of encouragement! I really and truly love hearing your voice through your words, and don't worry you don't ever have to filter what you want to say to me, I’m so grateful I have a mother that I share everything with and am not scared of her judgment, you have always lifted me up to heights I thought I would fall at. My parents I love so much. Dad you have been on my mind a lot, I need a letter from you when you get a chance ok!? I know you’re busy, but when you get a chance...I'll be patient! :)

I am so very grateful for this transfer, its interesting how up and down it has been, my MTC comp and I are having such fun together and we are eating TONS of smoothies!!! I'm talking we live off them! We have almost 4 the other day! I down sized from a court jar to 1/2 a court! YUM!!! So good. I drink my milk and put my brewers yeast which by the way mom!!! I am running low on! (I have enough for probably another 2 weeks if you're not ready for a package yet! :) I am writing in my journal really funny silly stories that I can’t' wait to read to every one, it's HELARIOUS!

Ok funny, sister Petersen and I were talking late at night after an awesome day of service: We tiled a call siding...mom I can totally do your tile in the kitchen when I get home. We're getting the back splash and John and Joe and I will whip it out in 1 day! Totally know how to do it now! Thanks to all those construction jobs I did with dad! Ha ha!

Ok but we were talking and I start screaming and lift my feet off the carpet onto my chair, ahhaahahah!!!! Sister Petersen jumps away from here and I am pointing right at her feet there was this HUGE!!!!! Cock roach!!! 3 inches, huge antennas and long hairy legs...YUCK...I start yelling and I grab the camera Sis P is freaking out and yells get the 409....I run and get it while she is trying to catch it, then after a 15 minute battle of spraying the 409 (hello totally doesn’t kill cock roaches) so we were fighting the curtains and all of a sudden the bug ran crazy fast and we screamed bloody murder it's 10:25pm by now....then I take a shoe and just start thumping it. I hear a CRUNCH....and lift the shoe and I see 2 now running.....ahahah!!!....it was like we were in Hercules movie and the heads of the monster keeps doubling!!! NO.....it was the BUTT!!! The head was dead but the butt kept moving, his legs all hairy and nasty...sister p said it's a reflex, I said "Uh uh, that is no reflex I've ever seen...that's NASTY" Oh man, I had to clean all the 409 up and vacuum the entire apt before we could get to sleep. YUCK!! I video taped it, ha ha! NASTY TEXAS BUGS!!!

Hmm....life is good, missionary work has been tough this week, but it's a new week and today we get to be rejuvenated!!! I thank you all so much for your letters, thank you again sister Cottle for your letter and the RS newsletter!! WOW!!! I'm in there so cool to know my ward back home remembers me!!! I love you all so much and appreciate all you do. Thank you thank you thank you for your letter my dear friends and family, especially mom I look for yours every Week!!! You lift me up, and I love them. And Katie ever faithful, thank you!

I am slowly writing back, but this week I am sending off a few, please write me, I promise I will write back! John, Joe, goes for you too, and Jac and Josh and Jed I kind of miss my brothers and I want you to know how much I love you and would love just to know how you are doing?

Mom!!! You PUT ME IN THE PICTURE!!!! Our family is all actually together!!! WOW!!!! I love that picture!!! , mom could you send me a 5X7 of the one were everyone of our immediate family is in it (and my picture): D my family never forgets me!!! Thanks mom, that idea made my heart jump. And then one of everyone....I guess Sam has made the family photo all ready Hugh!? ha ha! Cool!

I need good healthy treats yummy stuff to eat, mom any ideas!! I think I am allergic to pastas. ugh!!! GREAT KATIE, now I really hate NOODLES!!! ha ha!

Well I love you, I love the Lord, I love missionary work and oh dad! Can you e-mail me that song you made up on your mission so that I can sing it and make me happy!!! PLEASE!!! "so beat me and slam the door, tell us you've been saved before, treat us like a real good Christian should......please lady let us in..." ha ha!!! I am making up a song just like you did dad! To "love song" IT: S SO GOOD!!! But will you please send that to me please! :) I have such a clever family!!!! Ha ha !!!

I love you from here to Home!!!

Love sister Judkins

Letter # 24

September 13, 2010

Hello,

Thank you to all those brave men and women that have fought for or liberty and freedom and trusted in God with all there heart! Especially on this Sept 11th weekend. I truly show great honor and respect and overwhelming love towards all who have served this great country Ore the land of the free and the home of the brave! Thank you!

Well, this week we had so much happen, miracles! sad part, sister Mullins got transferred to Klein, they called sat and said everything is normal and staying the same then called Sunday night and said "this is not a joke, sister Mullins your going to Klein and Sister Judkins is getting sister Petersen....ok then I found out last night that sister Mullins went to Klein, but them she got transferred AGAIN to Katy...my 1st area! She had to pack everything up again and unpack again! Ha ha! She was really excited and irritated too! Ha ha! And I thought wow! Why is it so important that everyone got changed up!? This transfer is going to be looking to: Expect Miracles! I am excited! Exhausted, I have not slept for 3 nights, but finally yesterday I called President and straightened out some things and had him say prayer with me and he said "I feel like tonight your going to sleep, I feel peace about it" and did too! And I did sleep! And even got up about 4 seconds before the alarm went off! Ha ha, funny how that happens. We get up at 6:20am so we can be ready and awake by 6:30am! YEAHA!!! Then we've been exercising and I've been running, because I want my heart to be strong and healthy and my body to lose all its lard! Ha ha! STRONG!!

Brenda said she doesn't want to get baptized, we're continuing to work with her and pray for her, and Clark is doing great so far, last night we gave an awesome lesson! Sister Petersen started, which is really good, because she doesn't like to talk, she likes to listen and answer direct questions. This is going to be a challenge to figure out what it is we need to learn together. Patience for me! Oh boy! Why is it always patience!!! ha ha! Well upward and onward. I feel this next week is going to be a miraculous work of faith and unity with my companion and I. I can't wait! so excited to move forward in faith!

I do miss sister Mullins, it's incredible the transformation that has taken place with her and I...ha ha!....hate to love....I didn't think it would happen, but the Lord knows us so much better then we think we know ourselves and others. I've learned to not try and change others around me, the only person I can change is me, if I don't change me each day and learn each day, I've just wasted that day! But when I do learn something and implement it in my life, wow, miraculous things can happen. I don't think God is not still learning. and if we continue to actively learn each day, we will become more and more like our Heavenly Father.

Randy is 18 and we were teaching him and his mom is less active, she said she wants to come back to church, but wasn't there this Sunday! Friday Randy had a court case to decide of the years he'll spend in Prison! (Why do I always seam to get these types ha ha ) I love it! we talked with him and got Bro, Nielson to give him and blessing (after asking 8+ men to, and no one could) he did, we taught the lesson and had to leave before Bro. Nielson got there, but they had a great conversation about his drug addictions and the change of heart that needs to take place for things to happen in his life! He was blown away by the spirit that was in that home and called us and praised us for finding them and teaching them.

the next day we went over again and Arlene walked us out after the lesson and hugged me and said "you are just a shining light in our lives, and I've called so many people to come give us blessings or help and your the one that comes 2 days in a row and shows such love and concern, thank you" what a tender mercy for me. My heart was swollen with Joy and appreciation. Now she didn't come to church, but that could be because Randy went to jail, and she was sad. But there is something special with this family. Arlene said "when I got the blessing I could feel my dad with me, he's proud of my decision to go back to church". Thank you to the power on the other side!!!

Sister Davis is gone...feels weird to have her gone and what even more weird is this time next year I could be home! Wow, weird, well anyways....

I love you, and I thank you SSOOOOOO much for all the love and letters you send!

Tasha!!! I got your little package!!! WOW!!! CUTE GUY! if he's the right one I approve, if he doesn’t treat you like the daughter of God you are and the queen you deserve to be treated like then I will come home and kick him out.....but.....if he is a worthy priesthood holder and loves his family and you and June and Grace and Peter and will NEVER hurt anyone....then I can love him like my brother! I trust you big sis, I'm excited to meet him, and his kids are adorable too! Thank you for everything and esp. for your lifting me up sis, I needed it! Love you....

Mom and dad and family I miss you and love you and love hearing from you! I hope all is well, how is soap selling mom? How’s the business dad!? How are school guys? Julie and Jed did you try out for Ensemble!!?? You GOT TO! You’ll love it! I love you all and miss you all!

Love you from here to Home!

Sister Judkins

Letter #22

September 7, 2010

Ok, what a week for sure!!

I'm still in Tomball, but we got a call and said that Sister Mullins is leaving to Klein, after they tolled us she was staying, so sister Petersen is my companion again! From the MTC!!! YEAH! H! H she is awesome! We said good bye to all the members and it was sad for Sis Mullins, but I was happy because I didn't have to say good bye yet!! I LOVE TOMBALL! Sis Mullins is close by and will come on exchanges with me so it's all good.

This week it's been amazing because Sister Mullins and I got along sooooo well, we love each other and truly are friends, we worked well and were happier then ever! I'm so happy and tiered lately too, got to hear mom's voice on Monday!! :D wow, how that made me smile and my cup ran over and my joy burst out of me in tears! I can't tell you all how much I love you and miss you! So grateful for your smiles and encouragement!!

We are looking for more investigators, but loving every second on spending time and loving those around me, I love to love others, hearing my mom's voice reminded me why I have such love in who I am, because I was raised with parents and family that love was our middle name, it's what kept us going in tough times and lifted us up when everyone else tried to push us down. Love....is what brings us together today! (Name that movie) ok just totally killed the spirit, but no really thank you mom and dad for teaching me that to teach is to show love! The only way Sister Mullins and I got along is by showing genuine and true love to each other, and then we have the spirit, and if ye shall not have the spirit ye shall not teach!

It was exchanges to day, so I’m actually here with sister Petersen e-mailing and Sister Mullins is with sister Schlauter so fun! It rained so hard today, Awesome!

So a funny thing, we drove up to Brenda's house and caught her smoking a cigarette (after a week of her free) I walked up o her and said, oh hey, what are you doing!? She said, "ohhh,,,well you just caught me with my one cigarette, he offered I couldn't say no" that was so hard for me, because I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, my throat closes up and every time I am in her house to teach a lesson my throat closes up and here she is smoking a cig. She is just not having the actual desire to quit smoking yet. But I have faith that the Lord knows her and how to help her with her desires. She has no money and her house is going to get foreclosed on and her air conditioner broke too! But the Lord is aware of her.

Clark finally prayed and thought about a date for baptism Sept 23rd AWESOME! We meet with him Thursday and finalize it, he is doing great, reading and coming to all 3 hours of church and we meet now 2 times a week! we are meeting at a family we felt inspired to movie the lessons to, and he has been opening up more and having the young kids there has been a blessing, because this is an example of what he wants in his future. Not drinking and smoking and getting wrinkles. NASTY! all and all he's good.

I have not been feeling well lately physically, feeling sick, stomach and I think just changing with everything that I need to do, stress, etc. other than that I'm great! happy tiered, exercising more too and drinking more water.

Life is good, my brain is dead, I’m so sorry. Just been so very tired and no I am taking over the area with my new companion it is very draining but next week I will be better at writing and telling you about what happened. Thank you mom for the Lotions, I love them and my friend/ missionary loves the big bottle of milk and something you gave me!! She says it reminds her of Christmas, which is weird, it reminds me of BOATING!!! And the beach!!! YUM! I love wearing them every day!!!

I love missionary work, miss you, let’s do another 6 weeks!! Yes I can!!!

Love you,

From here to Heaven, Sister Judkins