Letter #19

August 23, 2010

I love TEXAS!!!!

Ok 1st thank you for all you do for me thank you! I am behind on letters, but I will return them! Don’t give up on me! :) being a missionary takes just a little bit of time :) ha! But I loved the soap and lotions mom WOW! GREAT JOB< the smell lasts longer then those cheap lotions I get at Wal-Mart and yours feel great, not too greasy but not like water, perfectly blended. Love all of them, fun fruity ones for every. Day and when your serious the big one the ginger milk I think...YUM!!! I was squeaky clean with those "Soaps of Many Colors" LOVE THEM! They are so much nicer to look at when you are wakeing up at 6:30 AM, not white mush, but BAMB....COLORFUL SPLASH OF "HAPPY SOAPS" so impressed with you mom....so impressed! Go for it girl! You can get little stickers for your logo, have John help if you want, and Julie she's our little beauty queen! Joni Vandyke I bet would love to help you make a logo etc. so you can sell and have it all professional like! And get business cards (free) where I got mine online, look for free business cards oh mom, I am so proud to say I am so much like you! Staying busy and always doing something! :) GO FOR IT GIRL!!!! You should put it on your blog, or have Meagan help you make a blog for your soaps and stuff! Oh cool, I want you to teach me and I'll help when I get home! In ....mom.....??? I don't know, next year when I get home. I can either come home in September before the twin’s b-day or in November. Before general conference or after! What you think?

Dad what's that necklace you’re wearing!? You’ve got me wondering for weeks now. How’s the business! I can hardly believe. Just last night I was just bawling thinking of everything....just been holding it in and last night I let it all out. With by blanket and samba wrapped in my arms and a box of tissues. I'm such a baby sometimes. Mom I get it from you Hugh! :) Well it was good, I am realizing sacrifice, what it means: to give up the natural man for my Heavenly Father and follow him. Wow! I think that's why sometimes we don’t think some things are a sacrifice, because when we get to that point of ”going to the temple instead of going on our weekly date isn't a sacrifice" we have given up a little bit of our natural man inside and so the sacrifice is understood as true Joy and happiness. I'm giving up 1 1/2 years with my family 13 more months so that other families can find out why I did it. "Families can be together forever" why is it every time we sing that song, not a single eye is dry by the end? Because our cup runneth over. Our heart burns within as we close our eyes and find the happiest times of our lives....vacation with family, fishing with brothers and sisters, having john untangle the fishing pull every 5 minutes, steeling dad's worms so when he wants to fish he finds 5 buckets of worms dried up on the dock, making my little brother eat a fish eye and never paying him, watching a best friend overcome her childhood fear, on the verge of tears when my dad walks in the store and looks at me, within seconds just knowing how to lift me up, crying with my mother hugging me tight, having faith while you watch your daughter walk down the airport security line while you know you have to say good bye, seeing the miracles that occur even when we never thought they would. These are just a few. I know my savior lives and because he lives we know!

Mom and dad last night I was thinking wow, aren't we supposed to be blessed from me serving.... come on Lord, aren't you going to at least show me some so I know it's true!? And this morning mom you wrote about the miracle of the zero balance 12,000 dollar bills! It brought tears to my eyes, my heart burned hot and I knew my father in Heaven said "Janna, my daughter, your father might not be right here to give you a blessing and you might not be there to help with work and home and family, but I am always with you and you are a dear special daughter that I need serving and finding my children that you knew before, that you have promised to find and share the gifts I've given you, so that when you see them they will know you and remember, for you are my choice daughter whom I've chosen, called and set apart to preach the true love of God, which is the gospel of Jesus Christ. For there are some who are waiting and will not listen unless their hearts are pricked with the power of remembrance! my daughter, I send you here, now trust me that I will take care of your loved ones, for I created and will provide, "be still" my daughter "and know that I am God."

This week my companion and I talked with President and I expressed to him my feelings of concern and heartbreak with finding happiness with my companion. I love the area and I love working hard, real hard, I guess I don't know any other way to work either REAL HARD...or not at all! On the flip I play real hard too! It’s got to be Judkins things. :) But my comp doesn’t do that, she works relaxingly and plays relaxingly. So picture a lion trying to win a "3 legged" race with a turtle....both will get there eventually, but imagine how much that lion would be tempted to bite the turtle, hold it in his mouth and run to the finish line! DOSN"T WORK WELL on a mission! So PATIENCE!!! The Lord is teaching me to slow down and depend on him through prayer and faith and work! I've learned so much.

Oh a funny happened tracting, we ran into this guy mowing his lawn and he said "oh no, I don't want no Joseph Smith on my yard." coming over and showing us with his hands, I looked down to realize I wasn’t' on his lawn. He proceeded to say "I pray that every door you knock on slams in your fa----" "Thank you, I said" staring at him with eyes of a lion ready to pounce and a smile that could kill... "your welcome" he quickly blurted out, confused and double taking ..."you enjoy your yard" he didn't say another word after I said that and we although we wanted to keep knocking out of spite!, left. When I got in the car, anyone that truly knows me knows what I was saying and how my companion just kept quiet as we left and I prayed to wipe the dust of our feet off at this mans house and that his mouth would be shut NOW! It was a blessing when I heard in my head..."that every person needs to have the opportunity to hear the word, and I have much to rejoice about! Just as Alma did when the city rejected him and he was them asked to go back!

Sometimes we have to do hard things, and we get kicked down and feel like failures, there’s only one spirit that wants you to feel that way and that is the devil the one that laughs at our faces and when we fall and scrape our knee, you know why he is so spiteful, because he knows he is NOT in charge! How does it feel when your whole family is having fun and you are bound to do what everyone else tells you to do, I’d be mad too! Well he has NOTHING we have everything! A body, choices, opportunity possibility for life eternal with our Father, he has no chance! Why do we let him win sometimes?

Brenda is doing well, and came to church as well as Clark for the 1st time came to all 3 hours! And is committing and following his commitments! His g-friend left last night and hopefully he'll continue to follow through! Brenda is getting baptized October sometime as long as she quits smoking and we have lots of tracting and finding to do.

We have received lots of rejection, and then one time we found a less active family not even on our list and she had her Mormon friend over and we talked and she said she might be interested in taking the new member lessons with another less active (got baptized 3 years ago and hasn't been coming) and Mike the new member.

I am realizing that this week we need to look for the miracles that the Lord has blessed us each with. So far today I have found dozens, and am ready VERY READY to see the rest and follow through. We have exchanges tonight! So EXCITED!!! Sister Schlauter and me are getting together and working hard tomorrow! Want to really badly get super soakers and have a very appropriate water fight ...mom you remember those elders back when Sarah Evans lived in those apt and they did that. The same ones I gave salt cookies and poop brownies to! Oh man, that was to fun! Do you remember that!? Ha! I've been craving a super soaker for months now! Maybe an extra early Memorial Day present mom!??? $15 :) maybe...ok don’t answer me now, you just think about it! :) He!

Last night I was taught by the spirit, I got sad because I felt we were supposed to find someone and it was getting late and I didn't know where to go, and my companion has been struggling for weeks....I prayed and then prayed again and started tearing up, "father, can't you just tell me where to go and who to find?" "Follow your companion" the spirit whispered. "Oh great, she wants to go home and sleep" I thought. But I was done and stomached all my courage and pride and said "the spirit says to follow you" she then said "oh well I want to go home and sleep, but let me pray" she then said I have been really needing a blessing because I've been off these past couple of weeks. I said "ok, lets go." We went to our ward mission leader’s house and he gave her a blessing and I wanted one, but said I didn't need one. (This was last night) I wrote down her blessing for her, I saw sis Davis do that and I thought it was an incredible act of charity. So I did it. she was so grateful that I listened to the spirit, I felt bad and sad leaving, then when I got home I just cried, I wanted a blessing but I didn't want anyone to give it to me but my dad....that night while I was crying I looked in the mirror and I said I want to see my dad and know that he's here. I looked in my red puffy water filled eyes, closed them and when I woke up this morning and received mom's letter I realized I received my fathers blessing last night!

You see all these miracles I would never have realized them unless I slowed down and was quiet and listened and paid attention! The spirit is with us. I'm grateful for it! I love missionary work and I love working hard. And I love you all!

From here to home,
Sister Judkins

P.s. Oh hey, I stacked 130 bails of 55 lb hay this week! SO MUCH FUN!!!! I LOVED IT! Not even kidding my comp was going to fall over and about die, which she kind of did, ha! But wow! So fun and great and sweaty and my arms still hurt from doing it. Dad I can't believe you used to get to do that! Ok it's not fun by your self but with a bunch of people it is really fun and feels GREAT!!!! Hard work = happy heart!