Cuttie pie and me!

Cuttie pie and me!

President Pingrees family and I making funny faces!

President Pingrees family and I making funny faces!

President Pingrees Family and I

President Pingrees Family and I
My New mission Presidents family!

I'm gonna cut my hair!

I'm gonna cut my hair!
It's way too hot here!!!!

I'M GETTING MY HAIR DONE!

I'M GETTING MY HAIR DONE!

The Killer Scorpion

The Killer Scorpion

I thought I was going to die!

I thought I was going to die!
SCORPION!!!!!

Jacob and Mallory!

Jacob and Mallory!

Sister Donken and I!!!

Sister Donken and I!!!

Me and my new dew!!!

Me and my new dew!!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Letter #30

October 25, 2010

Family and Friends,
I am in College Station 1st ward the address is:

2701 Longmire Dr.
Pepper Tree Apt #204
College Station, TX
77845

Oh wow this week has been full of incredible miracles and miraculous blessings! I am now in College Station and I do love how much work there is to do here! More than I have ever seen on my mission! We have 15+ Investigators 4 progressing and 2 with a baptism date! This all happened this week! My heart is so full with the ultimate desire to serve with all my heart and give all of me to these people, to find how I can bring a little bit of home to them and share with them who they are: Children of God. What an incredible gift we have to know we are children of God, he is our fathers....some don’t know that....how heart breaking it is to not know. But how uplifting it is to share and let someone choose for themselves to serve and follow Jesus Christ and be baptized to follow their savior and receive the Holy Ghost by a worthy man that holds the actual Power to act in God's name!? ISNT" THAT INCREDIBLE! ....and yet why is it that those of us who've known it our whole lives and have been taught by goodly parent’s tent to forget or take it for granted? The spirit is to be our constant guide to lead us to truth to guide what we do. He will tell you all of that I have said and I will always be with you! Why wouldn't I want that with me every single day of my life? I know I am not strong enough or happy enough to try and go through out the trials of life with out this gift. And to share that with those around me and those I love like my family and friends is a precious gift I treasure.

Jackie is 21 and goes to school here. 6 of her guy friends just came home from missions and she has always been around the church, she came 2 weeks ago to ask for the missionaries to teach her, she wanted sisters and so then I got to meet her my 1st day in college Station. And WOW! I felt inspired to tell her to forget about the baptism date that was set for her Nov 27th and to pray about the book of Mormon and Joseph Smith Specifically. And she did and the next meeting (2 days latter) she tells us how her anxieties left when I tolled her to forget about the date for now and just pray. She said she wants to get baptized as soon as possible. We met with her 5 times last weeks and took her to a baptism and she went to church and saw him receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and wow! She was so happy. After the baptism she and I and Sister Cramer sat and talked and I cried with Jackie as she expressed her concern for how she has not tolled her parents that she was taking the lessons let alone wanted to get baptized. she wanted to push her baptism so she could tell her parents in person they live in Austin (2 hours away) after crying with her and holding her I asked: "Jackie, I don't think you should wait to tell your parents, because this weight on you is more than you have to bear, give it to the Lord, have faith in your parents and your father in heaven to help you!" she said "I want to tell them tonight. she was so scared and nervous because she wants her parents to love what she is doing and wants them to know the truth and not think she is crazy....she called her parents Saturday night and called us right after and I talked with her on the phone and asked how she felt, she said it was everything she though it would be, but she feels so much better! :) Her worries of loosing her friends and family were scary to her, but when she came to church on Sunday her prayers and ours were answered as she felt like she belonged with her new friends in the ward. She is incredible and will be baptized in Austin with her family there and her lds ward she grew up with going sometimes. we can't go because it's out of our mission, but wow, she just needs this gift, her life is about to be filled with the Holy ghost. I love her with all my heart.

We are designated the Asian teaching sisters.....ha ha....ya right!!! Can’t speak anything! But there are so many Asians we are teaching. 1. Yao and Hao (Yao came to church on Sunday all 3 hours as well as Ha Kyu and Rosario and her family and Shirley (who we are teaching tonight, she is so cool, she said straight up "I'm not getting baptized though"...that's ok it's not us that converts it's the Spirit of God like a fire that burns. 2. Ha Kyu Lee he's getting baptized Nov 20th and going back to china the 23rd. 3. Yidi (we just got last night she is an exchanged student and the member came up to me after and whispered in my ear "you were the 1st missionary brave enough to ask her to take the lessons") AMAZING!!!! Can you feel how much excitement is in me!!??? A LOT! ....so much potential so much work!

I love the work, I am trying so hard to memorize the 500 members we have in the ever changing family college ward and I think I'm doing pretty well so far. We BIKE EVERYWHERE, but the members also help and drive us which is great because we get LOTS of members to come with us to lessons! This is a blessing for sure! How grateful I am for this ward and the referrals that they give and the trust and push they have on the missionaries to teach their friends. WOW! I loved church we talked about how patience is essential to becoming like our Heavenly father and how yes it's so hard, but it's all worth it.

I love the gospel I love my family!! John congratulations, but I'm really sad that you didn't write me yet. Please take some time out and write me and if Jen could write me too, maybe I will tell you what your sister thinks about her. I know you love me and will write me and have Jen write me too. John I appreciate you, know that you are loved beyond measure by me and mom and dad and the family. But especially me! So please don't leave me hanging me want to know how it all happened.

Mom and dad thank you for your letters I can't tell you how much I needed them and how my heart was filled with love. I love and appreciate you with all my heart!

Katie....what can I say....ever faithful ever true, Best friend. Thank you I love you!

I love you all from here to Heaven,

Sister Judkins

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Letter #29

October 18, 2010

Friend’s family,

I got transferred to Collage Station!!! Packing my place is crazy!!! ..... I just sit on the floor with a bunch of stuff and cry....and then I get up and try again. The new address is:
Oh I'll give it to you in a bit!
Wow an eventful week this has been for both me and my family. Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own interpretations. Mom I love you so much, I wish I could be home for a day and just let you and dad and the kids know just how much I love you and miss you and how hard it is to trust in the Lord sometimes. But I have to understand that he knows just how I feel, and I can pray for answers and he will listen and then lead me....I don't HAVE to listen, but I do want to, because he is the one that knows how to give true happiness! And I trust in my savior because I know he lives.

This week was full of changes and following the leadership and council of our priesthood leaders and understanding that Heavenly Father knows and trusts his children to follow him when he leads them gently by the hand. My heart has truly been broken with the news on Saturday that informed me that I will be transferred and be leaving my area here in Tomball and I will be going to Collage Station. It's when you know what you want and you know what the Lord wants and when you feel your heart hurt because you are giving up what you want (even when both are good) for what the Lord wants.

It makes me think. When we want something do we listen and are we prepared to listen to the promptings of the still small voice even when it's something we DON'T want to do? But remember this: what is the plan that Heavenly Father Has for us? "The Plan of Happiness"....yes that's it....so why don’t' I trust him to know what is going to make me happy in the end? the Lord knows that the Gospel of Jesus Christ will make all of his children happy in the end....and yet we disregard it as not because we are happy now, with what we have and were we are...I want to stay in this pig poop because it's warm and feels good, it kind of smells bad but other than that I'm happy, what do you have that can make my pig poop better? ..... we don’t' know at first that after sitting in the pig poop for a long time it will eventually put toxins in our body and kill us by degrees, no we are fine where we are at. But if we would have just had a little faith to pray and clean up and walk out and up on the hill we would be able to see the beautiful hot springs that sparkled the area. Why is it that sometimes we just don't want to.....

.....just don't want to follow the prophet.....
.....just don't want to listen to my parents who strive to be good examples.....
.....just don't want to grow up and live up to who I am....
.....don't want the gift that my brother paid with such a terrible price!


I want you to know that "Just don't want to"....is going to happen all the time....I really don't think anyone just can't wait to get home to fold the 50 loads of laundry piled on their bed ...no....but we do it, because when were done we're happier. I know that this is a true principle and I love how Nephi says: I will go and do the things which the lord has commanded, for I know...." he didn't say "Oh boy, I can't wait to go get the plates and have people come try and kill me and my brothers hit me over the head with a big stick!!! Ya baby, I can't wait"....no, that's not what he said. He followed because he loved his father in heaven and trusted him. How are we on this? I have a looooong ways to go, but I am "going and doing" and that's what matters.

This week Sister Petersen and I have worked hard to find and teach and follow up with appointments. We have a new baptized member Juan that came to church this Sunday and we went and taught him and eddy his friend, he is awesome. I think he really is interested, he's not happy with his religion (Baptist) and any really, he's had a really hard life. But we talked and I ended teaching the restoration and a little about the temple and the fruits of the church!! WOW!!! So awesome, he said he's read the Bible and I asked if he'd read a Book of Mormon if I gave him one, he said yes. We gave him one and Juan tolled us Sunday that they continued to talk for 2 hours after we left!!! WOWOWOWOWO!!!! So amazing that is for sure!

Elder Costa said to follow the spirit and when he says "Testify and leave the family" follow....don't finish your chocolate cake, just follow the prompting and come back latter. Let the spirit have time to work within the people's hearts. Sometimes we all need time to let the spirit work on us, as missionaries you see it all the time you find yourself as a child of God. You have to, because you don't belong anywhere for 1 1/2 years to 2 years. literally you have to feel how others feel when you don't belong.....because those who don't know that they are a child of God and he has a plan for them and they lived with him before we came here and that's why we want to return to him, feel that longing and desire to just belong.....we have that truth....you do and I do....open our mouths and let them know. What an incredible experience.

The missing mom was found and now they want to be taught too!!! SO COOL! and a member we've been trying to get a hold of to meat with her friend to teach found us on Sunday and so that we can go teach her friend too...well not me but sister :Petersen! She will do great and her new companion Sister Taylor will be wonderful and will truly be good together.

My new companion is sister Craimer and she seams......umm......sweet.....quite a ruff sense of humor, I think she'll be great....pray! But the Lord knows me and knows his children and so things will work amazing, because he is the master teacher, not me! but I will be in an all BIKE area (YES.....I"M going to totally die!!! but hopefully I'll lose these 20 pounds I've gained!) and I'm in the only apt with 4 sisters!!! HA HA!!! WOOT WOOT that is going to be so fun and crazy I think!!! And I hope they don't get sick of me too soon! NAH! it will be wonderful because I'm supposed to be there!!! umm....Christmas is coming up and it will be my 1st one without my family!!!! Its interesting mom and dad, I didn't think I'd have to leave family while I came out on my mission, but leaving Tomball there are some incredible people that my heart breaks for because I feel like I'm leaving family!!! But ya know absence makes the heart grow fonder....ha ha! It will be ok!!! I have high hopes and a broken heart.....but I can feel the spirit!

I love you and pray for you each day!

Love you from here to Heaven
-Sister Judkins

Monday, October 11, 2010

Letter #28

October 11, 2010

Family and Friends,

This week was AMAZING!!! I love how crazy things follow me and how Heavenly Father knows his children so incredibly well!!

Ok start of with GUES WHO CAME TO TALK WITH US one of the 7 presidents of the 70's : Elder Costas (He spoke in General Conference) came to our mission and we had a 3 mission conference and he spoke of how we can open our mouth ALLWAYS and teach people and NOT lessons!!!! IT WAS BOMB!!!! He says: "It's easy, no problem....peace of cake to share the gospel in America...." I'm like....ha ha, man this guy is good what does he say....then he continued and said " I just start talking to someone about the gospel and introduce myself as a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints and ask do you know about us?....YES they say....."Oh, are you a member?"...no....they say.....'Why not?" ha ha ha!!!! The 400 missionaries there busted up laughing, but my mouth was dropped the whole time....AMAZING this man just asks, why aren't you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? INCREDIBLE....I can do that!!!! Oh wow it was so incredible I loved every second of his talk to us. My heart leaped for joy "I can say that?" I thought to myself...I thought I was pretty bold before, but oh no, I was like a little pansy...so now I can really speak boldly and ya know what we tried it!!! when we started tracking I started to ask "oh are you a member..." and instantly they are a little shocked but we have a common ground if not for a few seconds....ha ha wow! They don’t feel as intimidated and they sense that I am not there to force anything on them. Oh I hope that made some sense to you but if not, just know that Sister Judkins has it making sense in her brain!! Ha!

WOW~ I have been blessed beyond measure: an incredible experience this week: Thursday we usually go to a group of ladies and knit and visit with them (they are from all kinds of different religions I love these feisty ladies!!!) and my companion was really excited to go because we'd missed it a few weeks in a row, but all of a sudden I felt a sick feeling and after comp study I told her we are supposed to go tracking, we prayed about a street. MARY JANE LN.....and then got lost getting there and almost just forgot it, when we found it, we parked and said a prayer, the 2nd house we came to a lady was talking on her phone outside and looked at us like we were crazies!! She said "who are you and what do you want"....I’m thinking oh boy, she thinks were J-dubs....I said "we're missionaries" "Oh, she says and hangs up the phone an talks to us....we spent almost 1 1/2 hours there with this women and her sister and they continued to explain why when I asked "how are you' she said "not good" .....She told us her mother who suffered from By-Polar syndrome (a very serious type) went missing on Monday at 11:30PM and it was Thursday! She kept saying wow, maybe you’re supposed to be here, maybe your going to find her and continued to tell us how 2 of her best friends are Mormon and she went to Young Women’s when she was younger and we gave her a BOM and said a prayer with her, after the prayer she started to cry I gave her a hug and told her "it will be ok". They lived in a trailer and her sister has 3 kids from 3 different guys not married and she's 5 months pregnant. Oh my goodness the love the savior has for these two girls is incredible I could feel it. They were worried and trying to be tough and here we are (truly not able to do much of anything) but if nothing else we were there to be the saviors hands to comfort his daughters that were in need. And wow! What a miracle we left our hearts full of Charity and our legs eaten over twice by mosquitoes, but I didn’t' even care, we had followed the spirit and wow!

Elder Costa spoke of following the spirit and not memorizing the lessons, but teaching to the needs of the people.

Last night we had a hard experience: after receiving a referral and setting an appointment for a man named Steve we had a lesson with him and his "complete Jewish" wife. His mom referred him and the wife said the mom is not a true believer, but rather just uses the church because she is in a bad situation. When the wife talked her eyes would look like shark's eyes and her tone sounded deep and load and she started almost yelling at some points. They met us with smiles and set us at the table with homemade cookies... (Oh we had felt like we should fast and I had started to get a very sick feeling in my stomach about 2 hours before we went to the meeting.) What started as a "golden lesson" or so it seemed, turned into them telling us after we shared Joseph Smith's experience that he felt sorry for us....that we were being tricked by a false prophet and that when my companion was crying it reminded them of their son who was led by a false prophet and who almost tore their family up inside and killed his wife 3 times in one week. (How much of that is exaggerated I can only imagine) they continued to put my companion's testimony and the word "Pagan" together.... WOW! We had a member come with us and she was shocked she was actually baptized and sealed just last year in the temple. Her eyes were as big as marbles. My feeling of a pit in my stomach had been confirmed. when we left my companion said the words I just recently said to her with tears in my eyes "WHY?" Why did we have to go there and teach and just let them rip us to shreds and take something so special and trample it under their feet?" And I repeated her same words she said to me, "Because when they stand before the bar of judgment they WILL KNOW...."
The last words I finished with were these to the Rossi's, I asked the wife "have you every really wanted to know and prayed about weather or not Joseph Smith was a prophet?'" Because if you don’t' WANT to know YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!!" and I looked into her soul when I said that and saw anger. No she has never wanted to know, she says "I know it couldn't be, it's wrong I know he's not a prophet......the saddest part of this is that she will NEVER KNOW....because she will never ask. Just like Laman and Lemuel when they said to Nephi, the Lord will not make these things known unto us....and Nephi says, ye have not asked....If we do not ask the lord will not give. Because that in a way takes away our free agency and that is Satan’s plan.
Our hearts broken and our hope dashed for them and their progression in the gospel fallen, we left and through many tears of sorrow reminded ourselves of who we are and how the Savior of mankind was Humiliated and bruised.....but then Sunday came....when we struggle and are embarrassed for doing what the Lord would have us do, we cannot be discouraged, but rejoice because you shared what the Lord wants us to, and he will take care of the rest.
Needless to say we were comforted by our beloved savior and our hearts are healed. We did leave a book of Mormon and sent him to LDS.org to read Joseph Smith's History.

This week has been incredible and when things start to look good sometimes they fall, but I've always taught what you do when you fall in a race....YOU GET BACK UP AND RUN AFTER THE PERSON THAT TRIPPED YOU....and BEAT HIM! That person is Satan. And we all have power to beat him. We are children of GOD....whether we believe it or not.... we are...and we are ordained with the TRUTH and the Truth will make us free and all those who repent and keep his commandments.

I love you all so much. This week I was struggling. And I can't tell you how incredible it was to see a package and letter from my HOME WARD in Lake Oswego wow! I was letting myself feel a pity me phase of oh no body misses me everybody hates me......ha ha.....and then I get a HUGE PACKAGE and 30-+ love notes from my Primary home family!! and even though I felt like I didn't do a good job when teaching in primary (my little un-experienced self) I felt an energy that came with all the squiggles and letters and hearts and names that spoke deeper then just me saying" Sister Judkins you are a daughter of God, and we are children of god and we support you no matter what!" WOW! Thank you Lake Oswego Primary thank you! I truly love each and every one of you and look forward to the day when I get to see you grow and learn and teach others and serve your own missions! YES YOU CAN! And thank you for letting me know that I CAN TOO! I love you!
and the letter from the Bishopric...thank you, the support that I received this last week lifted my down spirits to heights that tell me my savior knows me and loves me and used his children to reach out his hands to those in need. And my needs were met this week! THANK YOU LAKE OSWEGO WARD! I truly love you so much!
Thank you also to my dear family that never cease to stop caring for me and mom for all the $ you send in giving me packages and bread and everything I need, I feel so incredibly spoiled. And thank you Katie, and dad and the family. Thank you for your prayers I can feel them. thank you to my friends in the WESTLAKE SINGLES ward, I loved the letters I received and I swear there must have been a talk that stated "support your missionaries" or something and they all came the exact days that I needed them!!! Thank you so much for supporting and loving me through all my imperfections! I love each of you and miss you!

Ok I love you! Pray for times to share the gospel teach people not lessons!!!! It’s a peace of CAKE!!!

LOL
Love you all from here to Heaven,
-Sister Judkins

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Letter #27

October 4, 2010


Howdy ya'll,

All right! This week has been a week of ups and downs but ending with a HUGE bunch of MIRACLES. Did you all love General Conference! I hope you did! I loved President Monson's talk on Attitude of gratitude, why is that so hard for so many of us! :)

I want to tell each of you THANK YOU!

Thank you mom and dad for all the sacrifice you have gone through to raise us kids and even our friends at times and to teach us TRUE and FAITHFUL principals of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Thank you for loving through the tears and spending long sleepless nights solving problems and making us sit on your couch while all our eyes are blood shot because you wouldn't let any of us go to bed angry and with out a hug and kiss and a "I love you". Thank you for your strength and courage to move away from family and to our beloved Oregon and growing out of nothing with God a business that has been inspired. Thank you for waking up early every morning because you knew how important family scripture study is. Thank you for the tears over the phone and the shoulders to cry on and the time set apart to talk and council your children and friends and family. Thank you for serving as ward missionaries and full time. Thank you for staying worthy to go to each of our temple weddings and setting a constant example for me to someday live up to, but to always look up to. Thank you for teaching me what an eternal Marriage looks like and how it is possible ONLY with God. Thank you for your love even when I didn't deserve it. The hugs that would lift me up when I brought myself so low and felt like such a failure, thank you for teaching us that we can DO and BE anything. For NEVER doubting my dreams and ambitions, for smiling and whispering "I love you" as you watched my never ending choir and play and musical performances. Thank you for the hours and thousands of gray hairs ;) you ripped out while I was learning to play the piano, and always encouraging me to heights I couldn't have made my own. Thank you for being my parents, oh how grateful I am for you mom and dad! My cup runneth over with blessings I have in my life and how grateful I am to be so pleased and truly happy to know my parents are one of the great and noble ones and they put their trust in God. What an incredible example you are to me! Thank you, thank you......thank you!

To my sisters: I would not change you for anything! My sisters my friends that have been such powerful examples in my life. How grateful I am for you, your support and love and examples and encouragement. My sisters you have always been there for me when I need you. I love you Tasha, Jill, Jules babe, and Meagan and Erica I love you. I love you for loving my brothers and for coming into our family and staying strong. My sisters I know I am not easy to love....I know that....and yet you do! I'm so eternally grateful for that! I love you with all my heart and I pray and am grateful for you each individually so much!

To my Bros: What can I say. We have gone through a lot together haven't we? Deep talks, silly talks, stupid dances with the black light down stairs ha ha! I love my brothers: Josh, Jac, John, Joe, and Jed....David: thank you for taking care and loving my sister. My brothers how I look up to you. How I long for your happiness. I have worked with you, worked side by side with you and how I leaned on you and cried to you. thank you for having open arms for beating up all those that have the guile to look at me the wrong way :) how I admire each of you my elder and younger. How lucky am I...thank you for staying worthy to hold the priesthood and thank you for staying worthy to come to the temple when I get married. My husband has a lot to go through to get to me doesn’t he....poor guy.... I love you, Thank you.

This letter is a little different I felt it needed to be. I want you to know of my love and concern and my admiration for each of my dear brothers and sisters and mom and dad and MY FAMILY! Isn’t that what life is all about. I hope we never lose that sight that life is centered all around families. "Families can be together forever" why is it our eyes get wet each time we sing that song, dad you’re always the one to start it too! WHY!? Because WE ARE FAMILY! .... WE ARE THE JUDKINS! And more importantly than that, we are eternally bound and sealed together forever! ONLY IF WE KEEP ALL THE COMMANDMENTS AND KEEP ALL OUR COVANANTS than can we return together and are with our heavenly father and family!

I love you, the work is going good, I know my savior lives and he loves me and you, and the Book of Mormon is true. This Gospel is truth! And the way we show our love to God is through our willingness to share it, why? Because it is who we are!

I love you again, I love Tomball and I've truly grown. I long to serve, love, teach, invite and encircle our Heavenly father's children in the arms of his love, and I have arms that can do that. The only thing that stops us is us!

Quote of the week: ...."from failure we learn a lot....from success...eh, not so much" -Meat the Robinson.s

I love you from here to Heaven,

Sister Judkins

Letter #26

September 27, 2010

Dad thanks for that song, I loved it so much! Mom I loved your DADADADADAAAAA!!!! In the back round!! HILARIOUS!!! I started bawling and everyone looked at me funny! I love getting videos from you that is so amazing!!! Maybe I will try and make my song and send it to you! Today I have to go to the member’s home for a really long time and take my test for my ticket!!! HUGH!!!! Shoot me in my foot, wait. No don’t' do that I can't tract! ha ha!! Just kidding, it's ok though this family is like being at home. :) They are incredible. Not where else I’d rather do a 6 HOUR Safety course!!! Hugh 6 hours......ugh......ugh.....

Ok. Family this week has been wild and crazy and wild and crazy again!!!! Ok where to start where to start!!!

1. Brenda tried to commit suicide and kept going to members that live by here and asking her to call us and tell us she tried to commit suicide, we went and visited and she was all smiles from ear to ear, and well not any more interested in the gospel then after she tolled us she didn't want to quit smoking or get baptized, well it's hard, but everyone gets their choice and we just get to invite. If we forced that would be Satan’s plan. No matter how much we love someone and want them to chose the right, we can't make their choices or force them to do it right. I wonder how hard it must be for the Lord to watch and now only "a few will find" eternal life with him and their families. so sad to me when I think of how many people just don't want to listen or change "I’m too old" or "I like where I am now" dad your song is so TRUE!!!

2. Another call was of a woman that strangled her daughter (fewer actives) and that was scary. No one died, but this all happened in 1 day!!! Crazy day. Oh and

3. Our other investigator Randy overdosed again and was sent away to work for a while.

It has been VERY crazy and hard dealing with all the issues that are going around. But the Lord is here and he will take care of us.

We found another cock roach and man, those things just NEEVER DIE!! We found one dried up and turned over by the TOILET!!! HAHAHA!! GROSS....I picked it up with card board and we started taking pictures, then all of a sudden it started t twitch!!! UGH NaaaaAAAASTY!!! So gross! I quickly put a jar over it and started running around like a chicken and through it out side!!! We left it one a friend’s front door in a box, ha ha! Merry Christmas!!! That was funny.

We had an incredible Sisters Conference a few days ago, which we arrived late to, not my fault we got lost. But I learned where north when the sun comes up is!!! Ha ha! it was so much needed, and interesting to hear the talks and how great it was to hear about not judging others (which was also mentioned by President Monson in RS broadcast, which was incredible) and how judging goes 2 ways. oh I'm better then so and so and I know more or my hair has a better "Utah bump" than that girl, or oh look at her Utah bump hair due etc....every day we judge so quickly, and yet we know that's wrong but have you ever thought about putting yourself below someone else is judging also? I'm not as pretty, or I'm so much fatter, or uglier, or not as smart, or wow those missionaries are so much better at teaching than me...etc. it's so easy to tare yourself down and not realize that that is a master way Satan works at us, through his greatest tool: distraction....it was a blessing to realize this because as missionaries we need to build others up but shouldn't’t that also mean to build us up too, through service and charity which is the pure love of Christ!?

This past week my goal was the work on Charity and it's incredible how many talks and situations I've been in to express my charity and to show and also to feel that by having charity I am much happier and not afraid to help and serve or smile and hug. The Pure love of Christ is something so important that with out it....we are nothing....wow! I want to be something! I was to have charity.

I have realized that sometimes you can "love to much" a member I love dearly tolled me once, an interesting term to use. There is a difference between love and charity. Love is sometimes blind. charity sees through the fluff and pain and gets to the issue at hand, charity is moving on as a missionary even though you may love the investigator, but understand that if we have charity "the pure love of Christ" then we must let them have their choice, but we did our job by inviting and loving and trying our very best to support and share the truth of the book of Mormon and the gospel that has been restored. And sometimes even after months and years of teaching, they might just say "no, I don't want it"

It reminds me of that doughnut story. of the seminary teacher that had a boy do 15 push ups so each student could have a do nut, but when the boy started to get tiered after 200 and a pool of sweat was laying on the floor way he flopped after each set was completed, some of the students said "no, I don’t' want it" and the teacher asked the boy red and soaked in a puddle of sweat to do 15 push ups so that Suzie could have a donut that she doesn’t want! the class's eyes were full of tears and the teacher even at this point was tearing up to see the pain of john, the boy doing the push ups. he slowly push himself up and what started to be 1 second between push ups turned into 5 grueling minutes between each one, as his entire body couldn't control the shaking 13...14.....15......his arms buckled and he dropped to the ground. The girl yells, "I said I didn't want it" the teacher said, but he sill has to pay for the donut for you because this is a gift for all whether you will accept it or not. the entire class had tears streaming down their faces including john and the teacher....the teacher didn't realize at this point that 5 extra people had come in and sat down, one more was about to come in when the entire class yelled:"NO, DON"T COME IT" but a notice muffled out of john's voice "no, let them in" the teach then with a stunned face and red eyes turned to the boys and asked “do you want a donut boys?" "OH YEAH!" the boys said. He then turned to john and he proceeded with out being asked to do 15 more push ups for each one. -this is CHARITY.

Christ suffered the same for each of us, and yet sometimes we look at the gift and say, no I'm not good enough to get it, or no I don't want it. and we as missionaries and friends of those looking cry and watch our sister, brother, mom, dad, friend, family member or loved investigators or less actives say "no, I don't want it" oh how painful that is to hear and see. Many a times I have left a home hunched and tears welling up in my eyes as I ask. "why?" my companion said something to me which was this: "Because they will know when they meet God at the judgment seat that they were tolled the truth and that God sent 2 young sister missionaries to teach you and you turned them away, and we will would have done our job, we invited, they now have to chance to except or say "NO, I DON'T WANT IT". You see a woman yelled at us when she saw us offer her husband a book of Mormon.... "NO....N....O I will not have that book in my house". "Oh ye fare ones" how painful it is to see, but the joy comes with those who are ready and maybe it takes years, but we are doing our job!

I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is the fullness of the gospel, we have a prophet we knew we lived before we came here and that we will be resurrected and when Christ comes again every knee will bend and every tongue will confess. and the book of Mormon is a testimony that "2 nations is a testimony that I am God" we have a true prophet called of God on the earth today, thousands of missionaries every year serve missions to share the gospel and to show their Father in Heaven just how much we love him and are willing to sacrifice years of our lives just for him. During testimony meeting brother Celanese got up and said "ya know I would die for my savior, but why do I struggle so hard to LIVE for him?" brothers and sisters my heart burns....I KNOW! But knowing once is not enough. Read and pray every day. Strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, his gift for us to repent. If we know, we would DO! Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God, and the book of Mormon is a 2nd testament and there will be more to come, the last days are now, we must step up and hold our lights high, not judge and hide it low, because we don’t' think we are good enough or brave enough. If we think those thoughts as my mom always taught me "Satan wins" and we are sad, but so are those who are looking for the light, and can't find it. I love the lord, in him I will boast not of myself for with out him I am nothing, but with him I am everything and can become like him if I strive (struggle) to EVERY DAY! If I don't strive for it every day, I will loose my light. Read and pray and stay focused on the goal of the celestial kingdom with God. We must know who we are before we can teach or help others come to understand who they are.

I love you with all my heart, sometimes it hurts. Oh how I long for my loved family and friends to be happy and find True happiness, eternal happiness.

I love you forever and always, from here to heaven (home)

-Sister Judkins