Letter #26

September 27, 2010

Dad thanks for that song, I loved it so much! Mom I loved your DADADADADAAAAA!!!! In the back round!! HILARIOUS!!! I started bawling and everyone looked at me funny! I love getting videos from you that is so amazing!!! Maybe I will try and make my song and send it to you! Today I have to go to the member’s home for a really long time and take my test for my ticket!!! HUGH!!!! Shoot me in my foot, wait. No don’t' do that I can't tract! ha ha!! Just kidding, it's ok though this family is like being at home. :) They are incredible. Not where else I’d rather do a 6 HOUR Safety course!!! Hugh 6 hours......ugh......ugh.....

Ok. Family this week has been wild and crazy and wild and crazy again!!!! Ok where to start where to start!!!

1. Brenda tried to commit suicide and kept going to members that live by here and asking her to call us and tell us she tried to commit suicide, we went and visited and she was all smiles from ear to ear, and well not any more interested in the gospel then after she tolled us she didn't want to quit smoking or get baptized, well it's hard, but everyone gets their choice and we just get to invite. If we forced that would be Satan’s plan. No matter how much we love someone and want them to chose the right, we can't make their choices or force them to do it right. I wonder how hard it must be for the Lord to watch and now only "a few will find" eternal life with him and their families. so sad to me when I think of how many people just don't want to listen or change "I’m too old" or "I like where I am now" dad your song is so TRUE!!!

2. Another call was of a woman that strangled her daughter (fewer actives) and that was scary. No one died, but this all happened in 1 day!!! Crazy day. Oh and

3. Our other investigator Randy overdosed again and was sent away to work for a while.

It has been VERY crazy and hard dealing with all the issues that are going around. But the Lord is here and he will take care of us.

We found another cock roach and man, those things just NEEVER DIE!! We found one dried up and turned over by the TOILET!!! HAHAHA!! GROSS....I picked it up with card board and we started taking pictures, then all of a sudden it started t twitch!!! UGH NaaaaAAAASTY!!! So gross! I quickly put a jar over it and started running around like a chicken and through it out side!!! We left it one a friend’s front door in a box, ha ha! Merry Christmas!!! That was funny.

We had an incredible Sisters Conference a few days ago, which we arrived late to, not my fault we got lost. But I learned where north when the sun comes up is!!! Ha ha! it was so much needed, and interesting to hear the talks and how great it was to hear about not judging others (which was also mentioned by President Monson in RS broadcast, which was incredible) and how judging goes 2 ways. oh I'm better then so and so and I know more or my hair has a better "Utah bump" than that girl, or oh look at her Utah bump hair due etc....every day we judge so quickly, and yet we know that's wrong but have you ever thought about putting yourself below someone else is judging also? I'm not as pretty, or I'm so much fatter, or uglier, or not as smart, or wow those missionaries are so much better at teaching than me...etc. it's so easy to tare yourself down and not realize that that is a master way Satan works at us, through his greatest tool: distraction....it was a blessing to realize this because as missionaries we need to build others up but shouldn't’t that also mean to build us up too, through service and charity which is the pure love of Christ!?

This past week my goal was the work on Charity and it's incredible how many talks and situations I've been in to express my charity and to show and also to feel that by having charity I am much happier and not afraid to help and serve or smile and hug. The Pure love of Christ is something so important that with out it....we are nothing....wow! I want to be something! I was to have charity.

I have realized that sometimes you can "love to much" a member I love dearly tolled me once, an interesting term to use. There is a difference between love and charity. Love is sometimes blind. charity sees through the fluff and pain and gets to the issue at hand, charity is moving on as a missionary even though you may love the investigator, but understand that if we have charity "the pure love of Christ" then we must let them have their choice, but we did our job by inviting and loving and trying our very best to support and share the truth of the book of Mormon and the gospel that has been restored. And sometimes even after months and years of teaching, they might just say "no, I don't want it"

It reminds me of that doughnut story. of the seminary teacher that had a boy do 15 push ups so each student could have a do nut, but when the boy started to get tiered after 200 and a pool of sweat was laying on the floor way he flopped after each set was completed, some of the students said "no, I don’t' want it" and the teacher asked the boy red and soaked in a puddle of sweat to do 15 push ups so that Suzie could have a donut that she doesn’t want! the class's eyes were full of tears and the teacher even at this point was tearing up to see the pain of john, the boy doing the push ups. he slowly push himself up and what started to be 1 second between push ups turned into 5 grueling minutes between each one, as his entire body couldn't control the shaking 13...14.....15......his arms buckled and he dropped to the ground. The girl yells, "I said I didn't want it" the teacher said, but he sill has to pay for the donut for you because this is a gift for all whether you will accept it or not. the entire class had tears streaming down their faces including john and the teacher....the teacher didn't realize at this point that 5 extra people had come in and sat down, one more was about to come in when the entire class yelled:"NO, DON"T COME IT" but a notice muffled out of john's voice "no, let them in" the teach then with a stunned face and red eyes turned to the boys and asked “do you want a donut boys?" "OH YEAH!" the boys said. He then turned to john and he proceeded with out being asked to do 15 more push ups for each one. -this is CHARITY.

Christ suffered the same for each of us, and yet sometimes we look at the gift and say, no I'm not good enough to get it, or no I don't want it. and we as missionaries and friends of those looking cry and watch our sister, brother, mom, dad, friend, family member or loved investigators or less actives say "no, I don't want it" oh how painful that is to hear and see. Many a times I have left a home hunched and tears welling up in my eyes as I ask. "why?" my companion said something to me which was this: "Because they will know when they meet God at the judgment seat that they were tolled the truth and that God sent 2 young sister missionaries to teach you and you turned them away, and we will would have done our job, we invited, they now have to chance to except or say "NO, I DON'T WANT IT". You see a woman yelled at us when she saw us offer her husband a book of Mormon.... "NO....N....O I will not have that book in my house". "Oh ye fare ones" how painful it is to see, but the joy comes with those who are ready and maybe it takes years, but we are doing our job!

I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints is the fullness of the gospel, we have a prophet we knew we lived before we came here and that we will be resurrected and when Christ comes again every knee will bend and every tongue will confess. and the book of Mormon is a testimony that "2 nations is a testimony that I am God" we have a true prophet called of God on the earth today, thousands of missionaries every year serve missions to share the gospel and to show their Father in Heaven just how much we love him and are willing to sacrifice years of our lives just for him. During testimony meeting brother Celanese got up and said "ya know I would die for my savior, but why do I struggle so hard to LIVE for him?" brothers and sisters my heart burns....I KNOW! But knowing once is not enough. Read and pray every day. Strengthen our faith in Jesus Christ and his atonement, his gift for us to repent. If we know, we would DO! Joseph Smith is a true prophet of God, and the book of Mormon is a 2nd testament and there will be more to come, the last days are now, we must step up and hold our lights high, not judge and hide it low, because we don’t' think we are good enough or brave enough. If we think those thoughts as my mom always taught me "Satan wins" and we are sad, but so are those who are looking for the light, and can't find it. I love the lord, in him I will boast not of myself for with out him I am nothing, but with him I am everything and can become like him if I strive (struggle) to EVERY DAY! If I don't strive for it every day, I will loose my light. Read and pray and stay focused on the goal of the celestial kingdom with God. We must know who we are before we can teach or help others come to understand who they are.

I love you with all my heart, sometimes it hurts. Oh how I long for my loved family and friends to be happy and find True happiness, eternal happiness.

I love you forever and always, from here to heaven (home)

-Sister Judkins